Whatcha Reading? The Sheriff of Yrnameer

“A science fiction book your grandmother will love – if she’s a lustful, violent lady.” -Stephen Colbert
Comparisons to Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett were enough to pique my interest in Michael Rubens‘ The Sheriff of Yrnameer, but that quote from Mr. Colbert sealed the deal. So I picked up a copy of the book and began my journey through the cosmos with Cole, Nora, Bacchi, Kenneth, and a host of other characters who should probably not be given space ships.
I loved it, despite the fact that I am not a “lustful, violent lady.”
So before we go any further, let’s get this out of the way. You probably want to know if the comparisons to Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhikers’ Guide series are fair. Yes, they are. But the book is not a retread of Adams’ humor. There are plenty of slapstick, absurd comedy moments, but The Sheriff of Yrnameer has a softer, easy-going comedic sensibility to it. That’s probably due to the fact that Cole isn’t quite the fish-out-of-water that Arthur Dent is in the Hitchhikers’ universe, so you don’t get that head smacking What in the wide world…? moment delivered to you quite as often. You’ll still get it, sure, but not often vicariously through the main character.
So let’s talk a little about why this book is overflowing with so much kick-ass and laughs: Cole (and Kenneth).
Cole is the hero I’ve been waiting for. He is equal parts Arthur Dent and Han Solo. He’s never out of his element, but he’s frequently caught off-guard and/or ill-prepared. He’s a space cowboy who carries a big gun (a high-numbered firestick) and isn’t afraid to lead the retreat with it. If you, like me, have been waiting for the hero who is frequently beat-up and doesn’t win the girl, but keeps trying anyway, then you’ve found your man in Cole. Of course, Cole ends up growing over the course of the book…a little. He’s a strong main character and someone we come to really root for. Cole drives this book by the force of his personality, which means that he needs an incredibly strong foe.
Enter Kenneth. The book’s jacket copy calls Kenneth “the galaxy’s most hideous and feared bounty hunter [who] wants to lay eggs in [Cole's] brain.” Well, that’s true, he’s nigh indestructible, but what it doesn’t mention is Kenneth’s fanboy love of public radio and television programming, his refined sensibilities, and his velvety baritone voice. He’s the villain you don’t want to see hurt, in essence, and he torments (and tracks down) Cole to no end.
Jump with me for the rest of my ill-advised attempt at Yrnameer summation as well as an interview with Michael Rubens as conducted by Sara Eagle

Cole is on the run, that’s the big set up here. He has finally gambled his way into serious trouble and Kenneth has been dispatched to collect the debt (or dispatch Cole, either-or). But Kenneth, possessed of “alien sensibilities,” doesn’t just want to kill Cole, he’d like to use Cole’s head as a nesting place for his eggs. But he grants Cole a little extra time to try to come up with the money on the condition that Cole not try to run. Cole, given an opportunity (delivered via a bad back), decides to run by stealing the Space Yacht of the most heroic (and handsome) space hero alive…much to the joy and entertainment of Kenneth. This leads to Cole stealing a ship filled with freeze-dried orphans (he doesn’t know that at the time), a stowaway, and two rescue-workers, darting haphazardly around the universe and finally landing a-la The Wizard of Oz, in Yrnameer.
But you see, that sort of summary skips over Cole trying to shake down garden gnomes for their ill-gotten money, and his fight with the brave and handsome Teg, in which he apologizes for every punch he lands, and the arrival of Bacchi, Cole’s arch nemesis and friend. Attempting to summarize the book is an effort in futility, in sucking the funny out of it. So I’ll tell you this, the journey to Yrnameer and Cole’s interaction with that planet’s heavily artistic and pacifist inhabitants (who need to defend their town against “The Bad Men” who may or may not make it to town, given their penchant for killing each other off in arguments or dumb luck) made me laugh out loud frequently while reading the book.
Oh, but there’s more to love!
Sprinkled throughout the book are winks and nods to all manner of science fiction tropes and other works. Most notably (at least for me) is the old “distress signal from apparently abandoned space outpost.” This leads to a romp through a training facility packed with middle-management cannibals (though it’s not their fault, they were the recipients of faulty implants) and gambling Grays.
It’s hard to tell if the main thrust of this book is the cat-and-mouse between Cole and Kenneth, or Cole’s attempt to find Yrnameer, or Cole’s attempt to find Love, or Cole’s frequent gambling. And at the end of it all, it doesn’t really matter. I’m hoping that Michael Rubens’ will be following up with more from Yrnameer and Cole and Kenneth, because at only a little more than 260 pages, The Sheriff of Yrnameer is over far too quickly. And what an ending! I shouldn’t go into it, but suffice it to say, it’s an incredible shot all things considered.

A Conversation with…
Michael Rubens
The Sheriff of Yrnameer
Q: What in the world is Yrnameer, and how do you pronounce it??
A: It’s pronounced “YURnuhmeer,” and it’s a contraction of “your name here” — a dismissive, slangy term for a planet that doesn’t even have a corporate sponsor (”oh, that planet? It’s just some yrnameer.”). In the book, there’s only one unsponsored planet left, the Yrnameer, a legendary world said to exist in an unreachable location in space.
I actually nearly changed the title of the book early on — every time I told someone the proposed title I’d get the same reaction, and there’s only so many times you can be on the receiving end of a frozen, polite smile before you start getting a wee bit worried…
Q: Why did you write THE SHERIFF OF YRNAMEER?
A: I think the original idea for the book grew out of noticing that all the sports stadiums now have corporate names. Branded planets seemed like the logical conclusion to the trend. From that came the idea of there being one planet left that was free from advertising and branding, and then a flawed hero to protect that planet….
I originally wrote a very simplified version of the story as a television pilot, but I never sent it out — partially because I thought that a pilot that made fun of advertising might not be the easiest to sell, but mostly because I grew very fond of the characters and didn’t want to lose control of them.
Q: Your hero, Cole, travels from InVestCo 3, where advertisements take up every square inch of available space, to Yrnameer, where there is absolutely no branding. Why did you choose to present these planets as polar opposites in terms of advertising?
A: Yrnameer is the mirror opposite of the crass, materialistic consumerism that has overrun the rest of the galaxy. It’s a hidden, magical utopia populated by an abundance of gentle artisans and musicians and poets. In fact, one might say a slight overabundance. Sometimes you need fewer pan-species shiatsu practitioners, and more greedy, selfish semi-criminals who are comfortable sticking a gun in someone’s face…
Q: One of the funniest parts of the book is when Cole and the gang explore a zombie-infested corporate seminar satellite, Success!Sat 1. Have you been to one too many dull training meetings?
A: As an employee of a large corporation I wish to stress that the views expressed in the book are in no way reflective of my own opinions of corporate life, particularly meetings and training sessions, from which I’ve derived and continue to derive a great deal of enjoyment and wisdom and personal fulfillment and did I mention wisdom and enjoyment? And personal fulfillment? Really. They’re fantastic. Please pay no attention to the morse-code-like blinking of my eyelids.
Q: Peppered through out the book are references to some Sci-Fi heavy weights: Star Wars, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Aliens and 2001: A Space Odyssey. Have these always been favorites of yours? In what ways did they inspire THE SHERIFF OF YRNAMEER?
A: Those are indeed sci-fi heavyweights, and it’s hard to write a humorous sci-fi book — one that’s not a parody, but has elements of parody in it — without paying homage to those sources.

Q: Who is your favorite character in THE SHERIFF OF YRNAMEER?

A: I love all the characters equally. That said, I love Kenneth slightly more than the others. He’s always so jolly.

Q: Which character is most like you?

A: Hard to say. I think I’m a compilation of all the least-flattering aspects of each of them.

Q: What’s next for Cole, the Sheriff?

A: Hopefully many more hapless misadventures.

Q: What’s next for you?

A: I’m currently working on a vaguely memoirish novel about the world’s worst bar mitzvah.