Image courtesy of Warner Bros. |
Image courtesy of Kim Kincaid |
||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||
Advantages
|
Advantages
|
||||||||||||||||||||
Disadvantages
|
Disadvantages
|
||||||||||||||||||||
Kills
|
Kills
|
As Kvothe sat on the rock, he couldn’t help think that, aside from the Rooster from Disney’s Robin Hood*, there probably wasn’t a cooler lute player in all of existence.
That made him smile.
Across the field, a figure in blue robes was leaning against a large oak tree, apparently stretching out his Achilles tendons.
It would appear I’m not up against a fool, Kvothe thought. But that didn’t surprise him. It wasn’t as if he’d been up against pushovers in the past two rounds. Granted, he destroyed Garet Jax while cleaning out some mugs–and he’d beaten God by hugging him into submission–but they were still worthy opponents.
Just not powerful enough to deal with the power–or the curse–that he contained.
Strumming his lute for a few more chords, he realized that he had better get this over with. Across the way, the man in blue robes was now waving his hands rather crazily, and Kvothe was pretty sure he was pointing a stick at him and shouting. But Kvothe was lost in the sweet melodies, and had no idea what–if anything–the man with the long beard was saying.
Sighing, he slung the instrument over his shoulder and stood up. Digging into his pocket, he pulled out a piece of parchment. On it were five words:
Why do they always make this so easy?
The figure started walking towards him, and Kvothe raised his hand in greeting (no harm in being polite if I’m going to name him out of existence)… and nothing came out of his mouth.
Wha…?
“Hello, young Master Kvothe! Glorious day, isn’t it?”
Kvothe pointed at his mouth, desperately trying to speak.
“Loved that song you were playing,” the wizard said. “You’re quite talented. Reminds me of the time I did karaoke with this ogress while backpacking through the Continent after my post-graduate studies. Beautiful voice, that girl, we did such a great rendition of ‘I’ve Got You, Babe’…”
Kvothe just stared at the wizard, eyes wide in fear… and confusion.
“Ah, but never mind that. You’re probably more interested in why you can’t sing anymore.” He held up his wand. “Little thing called a ‘Silencio‘ spell. Didn’t want you just saying my name and making me ‘Poof!‘ No real sport in that, now is there?”
Kvothe just stared, especially as the man in blue robes held out his hand as if he wanted to shake.
“Albus Dumbledore–but I’m guessing you already knew that, didn’t you?” He chuckled. “You really are a clever one. Probably would have done pretty well on your O.W.L.S. if you had attended my school.”
Owls? I don’t even want to know what this guy thinks I would do to owls.
“In all that research, though, did you ever figure out how a bumbling old fool like myself lived to be one-hundred and twenty-eight years old?”
Kvothe shook his head, glancing left and right to see if there was any chance of escape. But, as Kvothe had thought, Dumbledore was no fool.
“Petrificus Totalus!” Kvothe tightened up, unable to move until Dumbledore stuck his wand into his chest and pushed him over. He crashed to the ground. Dumbledore knelt down beside him, his old man’s breath washing over Kvothe’s face, heavy with pumpkin juice.
For the first time in these matches, Kvothe felt fear.
“I said, do you want to know how I lasted this long?” Dumbledore smiled, the absent-minded professor look plastered to his face while his blue eyes sparkled–but not mischievously.
Homicidally.
“By eating the hearts of punks who got in my way.”
And without another word, Dumbledore formed his hand into the shape of a claw and, chanting Kali Ma!** over and over, pulled Kvothe’s beating heart from his chest.
Mouth full of blood, Dumbledore couldn’t help think that this would be the best Bertie Botts flavor.
###
Predicted Winner: Albus Dumbledore
(Albus Dumbledore is a character from JK Rowling’s Harry Potter series; Kvothe is a character from Patrick Rothfuss’s novel The Name of the Wind)
Watch the video recap for the Round 2 matches featuring these characters!
Don’t get me wrong… I would take Quick Ben to win the whole tourney… but when you look at the WoT fanboys talking about how Rand’s reflexes are faster than bullets and how Balefire moves at lightspeed, and Rand can’t be beat by this, and Rand would automatically defeat that… The only way I could see to shut all that down is to have a guy who ignores magic outright, and can still put a beatdown on Rand (who also happens to be a master swordsman of course). You put Quick Ben in there and you see many of the same arguments that you’ve seen up until now as to why Rand could still beat Quick… You put Karsa in there and say “Hi Rand. Here’s your ass… thanks for coming out.”
*sings* they see me trollin’, they hatin’…
As far as how the battle is written, LOL.
I want this new, never-before-seen dumblydore to go up against Jaime. Oh my GOD, how cool… and ridiculous. Hey, maybe that’s how he’d defeat the Kingslayer… “RIDIKULOUS!” hahahahahhahaha….
these matches just get better and better.
You know, i would go with Kvothe, but Dumbledore has the Elder Wand (or whatever its called) and since its a duel, well… but in my opinion theyre both badass xD
“That said, Kvothe could probably beat Dumbledore, both are sufficiently powerful to repel any spells that come their way, and are smart enough to raise safeguards against them anyway.”
That leaves fighting ability, and Kvothe definitley wins in that respect.”
Really? I challenge yout to provide one magical thing currently introduced into this book, that Kvothe could use to block the spell. Give me the pagenumber as evidence. K?
Based on the first book alone(only book so far), there are no known sympathy techniques that could be used to block or repel a magical curse.
There has been no known mention of any sygaldry that blocks magical spells.
This may be partly due to the fact that magical lightball projectiles are nonexistent in Kvothe’s world – as far as we can tell.
How exactly is Kvothe powerful enough to block one then?
How exactly is he gonna prepare to block one, when that type of magic doesn’t seem to exist in his world?
On another note: After all this talk of Kvothe, decided to finally read the book, and got it yesterday. Honestly, best book I’ve read in a while. It had me hooked the moment I started reading, and I read it and pretty much drank it’s words greedily for hours and hours on end – neglecting people, games, tv, and food. After reading all day, I finally finished it. Kvothe is simply amazing, probably gonna be the favorite book character of mine for a while.
More related note: Other than the fantastic story, another good thing about reading this book is that I can spot -Bullsh!it- when I see it.
That is so not cool Kvothe could use folly and slice him up,unless its yong Kvothe or is it the one telling the story?IM SO CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Second, simpathy is not magic. Sympathy is a hightened state of thinking and *knowing* (because you don’t really have to know something, just believe it is true and that it is not true and that all is the same and all is different and… ugh, you get the idea) that allows the listener, speaker, namer etc. to influence the world. It may be like magic, but it is not. It is more a combination of sciences, philosophy, art, and rhetoric than anything. Sympathy is not limited to words. Kvothe would not need speech to fight. Yes, muttering bindings might help, but that is just because the words help make the belief strong, as in the challenge of *candles* in TNOTW, where niether student had to continually speak to make the sympathy work.”
Yes it is magic. The book specifically called it that.
“The law of sympathy is one of the most basic parts of magic”(Ben page 75)Yet that’s unimportant.
Either way, the binding doesn’t only “might” help. As far as the book has shown, you NEED a binding in order to do sympathy. The students didn’t need to continually speak, because they made a BINDING between the wick and their opponents candle. Your spouting nonsense, binding has nothing to do with reinforcing beliefs – it’s not like they are repeating what they’re supposed to believe or something. It’s special words that they use to make the lower magic of sympathy work.
Last, I’d officially like to take the time to call bullshit on the whole “he can bind the air in Dumbledores lungs to the air outside and crush them and kill them” notion.
Kvothe did that to himself, and his lungs DIDN’T crush. He just couldn’t breath. It didn’t state how much air he binded the air in his lungs to, it just said “the air outside”.
We can all assume that if he did the same to Dumbledore the same would happen – until he knocks Kvothe unconcious which he could do with a spell.
How about a Pheonix stone amulet?
Dont get pissy about what can and cant happen when we’re talking about a fictional 32 person tournament taking place across multiple fictional worlds, mmmkay?
Not pissy, I just detest the vile taste of bullsh!t and – your post reeked of it.
*covers nose*
“Not pissy, I just detest the vile taste of bullsh!t and – your post reeked of it.”
Wouldn’t a “no bullshit rule” kind of negate the entire contest? It’s all bullshit–very, fun, entertaining, time-wasting bullshit.
Thanks for all the bullshit Suvudu!
My post reeked of a taste?
”
Anyway, do you really think anyone appreciates your comments? Three posts in a row, putting people down and showing JUST HOW MUCH you know about Name of the Wind doesnt make you cool. At all.
Also -
“Wouldn’t a “no bullshit rule” kind of negate the entire contest? It’s all bullshit–very, fun, entertaining, time-wasting bullshit.
Thanks for all the bullshit Suvudu!
Quoted for truth.
I think it’s quite funny about how everyone is going on about how everyone else doesn’t understand the magical mechanics of Kvothe’s universe. In truth none of us do really except for Rothfuss and his proffreaders. The problem with entering an unfinished book series in this competition is that we have no idea what Kvothe is capable of, how his really works (as he only has access to sympathy for most of notw), we don’t even know how skilled a swordsman he actually is.
Dumbledore however is a known quantity, more or less. Personaly i think Kvothe would win, this is largely because the battle mechanics of HP universe magic doesn’t seem very effective, it’s all very well to mutter a charm and make something rise but with the exception of the Dumbl/Vold fight in book 5 most of fights seem to involve just pointing there wands and shooting light at each other.
About 75% of what you taste, comes from it’s smell.
I’m sorry – I have this pet peeve. I hate when people claim things, that are wrong, despite the fact they don’t know what they’re talking about.
Some people are actually going through this logically. If you state something about the book, that’s actually wrong, someone’s gonna believe it if they haven’t read the book.
I don’t care if you think I know alot about the book, but I hate when people state things as truth when in truth they don’t have a fcking clue. Being misleading and taking advantage of someone’s ignorance doesn’t make you cool.(If I do it, it’s usually by accident)
Last, there’s a difference between – the bullshit of a hypothetical cage match pitting people from different books together. It’s hypothetical. Or people making joke scenarios.
- And, the bullshit of making up things about a book series.
Kvothe *does* use sympathetic magic that can absorb and redirct energy though. For instance, when fighting the dragon thingy, he turns the well into a giant heat sink. Given that he would have learned about the abilities of other mages, he could have bound his clothes to something that would absorb the heat/energy of their spells. Or perhaps a wooden/cloth shield bound to his opponents clothes, weapon, armour etc.
Magic in kvothes world is more “natural” than in any other, but that doesn’t preclude it from being able to perform similar functions.
Wow this write up was rather retarded. I was disappointed. I was hoping for an epic battle between two epic characters. Not a totally out of character slaughter.
“About 75% of what you taste, comes from it’s smell.”
good comeback! i’m going to vote for CezeN in this cage match.
AHAHAHAHA i loved that. Amazing. Simply amazing.
I know this is really late, but Mystfren, it was actually Tema, not Temic. They’re different languages (Ben explains that when he talks to Kvothe’s parents about the Chandrian/Kvothe’s future).
‘The Name of the Wind’ was not as good of a book as people said it was. A big letdown, actually.
This wasn’t the best write-up. Dumbledore eating live, human hearts? Really?
Dumbledore never* killed his opponents, he would always capture them. The idea that he’d kill a teenager…so, so very out of character. He was noble and self-sacrificing to a fault.
Its 70-75% actually, jeez, what bullsh!t you speak! *moan moan whine whine*
^^^Cool story bro.
Here, let me help you with my previous post:
http://tinyurl.com/yjn8y34
I guess Kvothe’s wittiness rubbed off on me lol
it doesn’t matter!!! rand is going to win
I sincerely hope that, when the time comes, everyone gets behind Rands opponent, no matter who it is. I’m tired of fanboys whining ‘balefire! balefire!’
You seem like an ok, reasonably intelligent chap. Why are we having an internet fight? I didn’t mean to make false statements about Kvothe alright?
All I was saying was that characters as powerful and intelligent as Kvothe and Dumbledore (and we know that much about them at least) would take every precaution before going into a fight with one another, and therefore would be suitably able to defend themselves against magic one way or another.
Dumbledore has access to an almost unlimited number of magical artifacts through the collection at Hogwarts, and that room that gives you whatever you need. Kvothe has proven time and time again that there is no situation he cant overcome given 2 minutes to think about it, be it gaining access to a magic blocking amulet from another world, or using the technique described by Liam up there.
To me, this means that after a good few hours of blasting each other with magic, its eventually going to come down to who is better at hand to hand combat. And we KNOW that Kvothe is good with a sword, and we KNOW that Dumby is getting on in his years a bit.
Sure theres alot of assumptions etc there, but bear in mind we’re talking about a fictional tournament with characters from other worlds here, we need to use our own opinions, and assume things about the story, otherwise we’ll get nowhere, and it really will be just a popularity contest.
So, in conclusion, I apologise, it was not my intention to speak bullsh!t about Kvothe or Dumbledore, I was simply trying to offer an opinion.
wait. were we having an argument or did you mean to reply to CezeN?
as far as i know, all i said is that i voted for CezeN in the cage match. but no hard feelings: i’m just a bigger fan of CezeN.
Does anyone know when the polls close?
They closed at 8 pm EST yesterday, as per this post (which was in the comments earlier, as well):
http://bit.ly/c9HYMA
Sorry if there was any confusion.
The next fight is up tomorrow, where Kvothe is fighting the possibly unstoppable Jaime Lannister
Kingslayer vs. Kingkiller? Yes please.
And that, my friends, is how this tale ends.
But now Kvothe is off to battle the perhaps unstoppable Jaime Lannister.
As @frantiforce said: Kingslayer versus Kingkiller!
Check out our recap of the round here:
http://bit.ly/9×9dFi
And check out Kvothe versus Jaime here:
http://bit.ly/c5VWxg
not sure if you will be notified of this post being i only just discovered this and it’s really really really really really really really really really really really really late, but didn’t dumbledore win or am i missing something??
Rand can’t win. His author died of tedious hand cramping, writing endlessly about the color of the hem of dresses and the texture of the paint flakes drying on a building (which is also tediously detailed). But the time Rand gets through his ‘clothing details’ he’ll already be dead. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Oh, and Doubledorf is a old turd.